This post is going to be written with a little help from my mentor Danielle LaPorte‘s Daily Truthbombs. It was actually inspired last night as I lay soaking in a nice hot bath, with candles and the cutest novel I’ve ever read by Carole Matthews.
Anyway, I have the tendency to get a little distracted as I do one thing, I start thinking about another, and then another…and then another until I find myself multi-tasking like the human embodiment of Lakshmi. So there I was reading about a new character who had moved villages and risked losing her clients to start again only to find that she still had a steady flow of clients who found her in her new location. Isn’t that we attempt to do every new year? To start again and take risks? Well OK some of us don’t – we like to play it safe and keep things as they always are – and that’s cool. But what about those of us who like to shake things up a little – or a lot?
I began reflecting on my goals of 2013 – I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. Every day I discover something new about me that I’ve learnt this year and it’s not all achievements although there have certainly been plenty of those. I’m talking about those things we learn when something doesn’t work out right and we vow “NEVER AGAIN!”. I’ve been having those moments a lot over the past two weeks. A lot.
This year has been full of life coaches coming out of the woodwork (perhaps it’s all those full moons we’ve had) and telling us how we should set goals, how to achieve things, what we need to do, mantras, affirmations, meditations, retreats, courses, seminars and more.
But I learnt that the only way you need to set a goal is your way.
That’s right. Only you know what has worked for you in the past, and what has failed in the past. I’ll open myself up here, get raw and share with you what’s worked and failed for me – purely to get you thinking for yourself. So that you can begin a revolution in your life.
Way back when I was a young girl around 7 or 8 I had a dream and that dream stayed with me for at least …. well forever really. It was right at the forefront of my mind for a good 10-12 years and I worked hard towards it, I focused, I disciplined myself, and I got there. Well I got two steps into the goal – there are heaps more. But the point was I made progress. But how did I do it? Did I recite affirmations? Did I meditate about it? Did I attend seminars, retreats and chant mantras like my life depended on it? The short of it is.. NO I didn’t. I got active. I made my life goals one of action. I got off my butt. I made it happen. I made it happen. Did you get that? I actually MADE it happen.
I did this by really focusing clearly on what I wanted which was the one dream, and then suddenly these other dreams sprung off of it like a moving, grooving mind map of brainstorms. I was seeing all these goals forming in my mind and I felt how they made me feel. I felt the life I desired. I saw the life I desired. And then I researched and gathered all the info on how I could make it happen, what did I need to do to make it happen. I wrote it all down, step by step, I set dates. Realistic dates. And then I made it happen. As much as I felt excited. I was terrified. Petrified even. It was pretty epic for me. But it got me what I desired. By feeling, seeing and making the stuff happen. And being scared to death of the goal that would lead to bigger goals.
Now, this past year or so. I’ve set goals and I’ve meditated, I’ve affirmed (which really makes my inner voice scream the word “bullshit” with all it’s heart & souls), and I’ve focused on serving others. I’ve achieved some pretty awesome stuff. I’ve been featured in a published book, got my own podcast coaching show, had articles accepted for next year in magazines I haven’t normally focused on, I found LOVE, I fell in LOVE, I felt LOVE, I’ve made awesome friends who are well respected authors. Told ya, some pretty amazing stuff has happened this year. But I’ve also had my fair share of crappy stuff, and I have oodles of goals I haven’t achieved. But I wondered why.
The answer – like so many of my amazing brainwaves came to me last night as I was soaking in the hot bath in a fantasy world via the novel I was reading. The reason I haven’t achieved this stuff is because it didn’t scare me enough. I didn’t feel like something was at stake for me. I felt safe, sure and complacent. This stuff I failed to achieve just didn’t excite me. It didn’t scare the hell out of me. It didn’t feel like the bliss filled dream that those dreams did feel like when I was 17.
So I listened up to my inner voice. That sexy, smart and powerful woman inside. And I have set a HUGE goal for myself for next year and it excites me, it feels blissful to overflowing proportions and it scares the HELL out of me! (Feelings are huge with Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map process, something I have been doing for a year now). I have got myself an amazing accountability partner – otherwise known as my Mum who supports this goal of mine. And to ensure I don’t fail in achieving this goal she has set in place fail proof methods for me. I’m not yet sharing this goal with anyone. It’s my secret mission right now. Even my other half is unaware right now – it happened so fast. I know he will support me, he always does.
So my advice to you is this; set goals that feel good to you, that excite you, but also set those heart pounding goals that scare the hell out of you but you know will make you feel so damn proud of yourself when you achieve them. It’s not all about fluffy princess goals – some are rock star goals.
Leave a comment and tell me how you decide what goals you set yourself? Do they have to sound right? Have a particular feeling? Or do they have a theme? I’d love to know – you don’t have to share your actual goal, just the method you use. Secret Missions are OK and I fully support them.